Dad has grown quite fond of my Ipad and I use it to show him a portfolio I made for my roommate.  While browsing through her work a message alerts him of new facebook notifications.  “Amanda and Jessica commented on your status,” dad says and instantly hits view.

Curiosity rouses mom from her spot on the floor and she peers eagerly over dad’s shoulder, “Oh cause you’re in a relationship, right!?” as though this is a new event I’ve just posted on facebook.  “No!” dad screams, “C’mon!”

“Oh that’s right, relationship status is in the sidebar,” mom says, the light dawning. 

“Dad doesn’t even have facebook and he knows!” I say laughing.

“Well he got laughed at!” mom points out.

Meanwhile dad has realized he can utilize facebook as a tool to stalk all my friends and acquaintances.  He begins reading statuses, browsing pictures and attempting to comment, only in hopes of securing a reaction from me.  “Jill is out deer hunting,” he reads aloud.  “How did you find that out!” mom demands. 

“He’s stalking me!”  I say.

“I’m becoming quite good at this,” dad says smugly.  I allow him to peruse my profile without censor and show mom tidbits of the code it takes to create a site.

I tell her this is the new language I’ve been learning.  “Oh!” she says in recognition, “Jpeg!  That’s the one you’ve been wanting to learn.”  I barely contain myself, “JavaScript. Jpeg is an image file”  I correct her.  “Close enough,” mom says dismissively.  I show her a few more lines of code. 

“Oh, I’d scream!” mom says her eyes widening incredulously.

“That’s what I used to say back when I was programming,” dad says without glancing up from his new toy.  I burst out laughing.  “What are you talking about?”  I demand, assuming this is another one of his ploys for attention.

“Back in 1975 I was making computer programs; It took pages and pages just to make something work.”  Mom takes this as her cue to chime in, “I took a computer programming class too,” she says.

“I got a C cause I never went to class.”  I stare at the duo dumbfounded.  “I mean NEVER,” mom says her eyes wide as she stresses this very important fact.

“So why did you stop?” I ask dad curiously. “He can’t even learn to navigate the computer!” mom answers nodding towards dad who is angrily jabbing at the  screen in hopes it will move.  “I figured I’d leave it for my kids,” dad says, as though he has given me some great gift. Gauging from his limited computer skills, I’d say this was a wise decision.