As soon as I arrive home, I realize dad is trying to outshine mom on the blog. It seems he can’t stand that she’s coined herself the “wallflower” who doesn’t want any attention and manages to surpass any mention of him on themplusme.
Tired of his supporting role in each story, he decides to take an active role in paving his road to fame. I notice his behavior borders on maniac obsessive with huge theatrical displays and ridiculous stories as illustrated by the following incidents.
1) His extreme obsession with the storm and his ability to predict its unfolding
2) His claim at family dinner that he would be the perfect ringleader for hell’s angels (even though he doesn’t ride).
3) His over-dramatized helplessness at how to sign out of my gmail account so he could access his.
4) After mom tells me not to dig in the fridge he spots me lifting a water and races up the stairs to tattle on me. When he succeeds in working mom into a tizzy he smiles deviously and begins dancing in the kitchen.
When none of these attempts seem to have sparked me enough to form a story around them, he comes up with one last desperate attempt. The day after Christmas the relatives meet at the movie Sherlock Holmes in Duluth. Mom, dad, and myself are the first to arrive to a nearly vacant theater.
I’m busy texting when mom jabs me in the side and points to the front of the theater where dad is dancing a most obnoxious little jig. I groan in amusement. He notices he’s grabbed my attention, stops his outlandish performance and stalks out of the theater.
As soon as he exits I receive the following text….
“I’ll wait until more people come in, then i’ll come back to perform.”
Mom and I roar with laughter. “Well, let’s see if all his bragging pans out!” mom says.
A short while later the theater has filled up considerably and I noticed him try to slither undetected across the front. I jump to my feet and shout, “C’mon” while sweeping my arms out in front of me in an attempt to conduct his “supposed performance.” He shakes his head and mom cackles in triumph, “I knew he wouldn’t follow through!”
I hardly see his failed performance as deserving of a story, but I decide to temporarily sponsor his ego and publish, “Dad fights mom for starring role.”
