Mom and dad drive down to the cities to attend my Graduate Portfolio Show and I come to learn, like any doting father, my dad has no idea what my website is, let alone seen it.

I hand him a postcard, “I’m handing these out at the show,” I say smugly. Mom comes up behind him and peers over his shoulder, “Oh, you’re handing that out at the show? That’s nice!” she exclaims. “It’s about you,” I say referencing the blog. “Oh…” her voice trails off in realization.

I ask if he’s read my Paris blog to which he looks at me and says no. Then I ask him if he’s seen my portfolio site to which he also responds no. Mom rolls her eyes.

I decide it’s time for dad to view my website and give him the daunting task of testing the usability. “He’s the perfect guinea pig!” mom squeals in excitement. “Why do you say that?” I question. “Because he’s clueless,” she says.

I set dad out in front of my laptop and outfit him with a headset I’m not even sure works. Mom cackles happily in the corner, “He looks like an air traffic controller!”

Dad has no idea how to use my laptop which has a scrollpad instead of a mouse or keys. He hovers tentatively over the arrow keys before he starts hitting them incessantly. “How do I do this?” he cries in frustration as a million programs begin appearing on my screen, “It won’t scroll!”

After demonstrating how to navigate, he attempts and fails miserably. I rummage through my room and finally find him a mouse. At home, dad’s only encounter with the internet is online poker. He has a large monitor and comfy chair, complete with an attached armrest that holds his mouse comfortably at his fingertips. I realize I must proceed with extreme caution when introducing him to the outside world.